Meeting Them Halfway

There are some memories you don’t realize you’ve been carrying until someone else puts them into words for you.

This week, my brother Jeff shared a Facebook post from 2007 in our family group chat. He had been doing a countdown of our Walt Disney World trips, writing about different memories along the way.

And this one stopped me. Here is that full post from 2007.

********************************************************************************************************************* Number 15 on The Next Best 27 Walt Disney World Memories Countdown

• Jeff Martin

This is a HUGE week for the Martins! Our Days 'til Disney drops below the century mark on Tuesday for we will have less than 100 Days 'til Disney starting this week! Here we go! We have reached the Top 15 as we turn our attention once again to the happy sleeper, my older brother, Jason! Number 15 on The Next Best 27 Walt Disney World Memories Countdown is Jason meets us half way.

Growing up we always took our vacations as unit of 5, and up until 1996, the roster pretty much didn't change. You always knew it would be Dad, Mom, & the 3 brothers. On special years, and man were they special, Grandma and Grandpa Martin went, too.

Some years, we'd be so lucky to have Grandma and Grandpa Marvel, Larry & Josh meet up with us in Daytona all the way from Missouri! But, man oh man, were those years growing up some of the best trips.

All those van trips, all those nights sharing a bed with your brother. Good times! From happy sleeper to disturbed sleeper to bed hog, all were things that I won't soon or can never forget about Jason! But in the words of the great Bob Dylan, himself "For the times they are a-changin'" and so did our family vacations. The final year for the "original 5" of us to go to Walt Disney World came in 1995, and bitterly a year to go down as probably my least favorite Disney vacation. Had I known that it was the last time the five of us would be together at Walt Disney World as a complete whole, I might have tried to make it a little bit more pleasant. For the following year, our family dynamics changed, and so did our vacations. By 1996, Windy & I had become inseparable after my first year in college, and it became her/our first time together at Walt Disney World. But in 1996, something else happened that changed Martin family vacations for good. Jason graduated college with a degree in elementary education. The days of the original Martin, Party of 5, were gone for good. Yep, woebegone for me, Jason had grown up & was moving out. 1996's vacation started out with 6 of us, but by mid-week, Jason had gotten a call about a teaching interview back in Indiana. An opportunity, he just couldn't pass up, he flew back home alone.

Although, he didn't get that job or many that followed, I guess the rest you can say is history. The following 2 vacations (1997 & 1999), we went without him-his job at Holiday World wouldn't allow for a 10-day vacation in the middle of summer, which makes sense. In 2000, it was only Windy & I on our honeymoon. 2001 & 2002, it was Windy & I that was left at home. Again in 2003, all of us went leaving Jason out all together. 2004, Chase was born & that might be one of 2 years this century that NO Martin went to Walt Disnev World! Wow! How did the Earth not stop spinning or the World not come to an end? 2009, the year Isabella & Miley came into our World, and with Justin & Kristen's marriage, became the only other year Walt Disney World was Martin-less.

2005, though, started something anew. Jason, now with 10 years in at Holiday World, had more seniority and with that came a little more flexibility. 2005, begat a new tradition, becoming the first year for Jason to meet us half-way. Still, unable to be gone from work for the entire 10-day duration, he so badly wanted to be a part of the 2005 Martin Magical Gathering. For the second time in history (Grandma Marvel went in 2003-Cole's first trip), there was 4 generations of Martins going. We had the largest group of us that had ever gone to Walt Disney World with 11 in the party. A number we should be able to match in 2010!

Jason's being there means a lot to each of us. He adds just that extra bit of pizzazz! Or panache. He's a kidder & fun to pick on; he loosens things up even more and lightens the mood for everyone. So, in 2005 we had him from Sunday-Tuesday. In 2006, he joined the four of us for the final Wednesday, Thursday, & Friday of our vacation. In 2007, he spent the most time with us yet, with him flying to Disney with us on Thursday and staying clear up until Tuesday before having to fly back alone, again.

I can't imagine how he feels leaving us all the time half-way through. I know it makes me, Windy and Cole & Chase very sad. It sort of leaves us with an empty feeling, like a part of us is missing. Dad, too, in 2007, didn't like the fact that Jason was gone, stating that he felt short-handed. Feeling a void, I am sure. It leaves a hole in your spirit, that's for certain. But, gladly, we are so lucky & thrilled to have him when he's there. After all, any Jason is better than none at all.

Definitely, all 10 of us heading out of here in 101 Days are stoked like heck that Jason is continuing the tradition that he himself started in 2005 and is meeting us half-way! He will join us on Sunday (Chef Mickey's) and Monday (EPCOT) before leaving us on Tuesday. Yeah, once he's gone we'll be downhearted, despondent, and listless but seeing Jason's fun & the joy he brings with him, is worth every ounce of it! 101

Days 'til Disney!! ********************************************************************************************************************************

Reading his words took me right back there. Not just to Disney. But to something I hadn’t really thought about in a long time…

Being the one who showed up late. And left early. Being the guest star in the family vacations. For years, that was my role.

I wasn’t the one piling into the van for the full 10 days.

I wasn’t the one there for every park, every dinner, every moment.

I was the one who met them halfway.

Fly in for a couple days. Make the most of it. Then head back to work. At the time, it just… was what it was. I was building a career. Working at Holiday World. Trying to figure out what my life was going to look like. There wasn’t really a question of if I would stay longer. I couldn’t. If you’ve worked in the hospitality industry especially in leadership you know this well.

Reading Jeff’s words now, what struck me wasn’t just the logistics. It was the feeling behind them. That line “Jason meets us halfway” hit me hard. Because I never really stopped to think about what it felt like on the other side.

To them, I wasn’t just coming and going.

I was missing.

And here’s the truth I can finally say out loud: I felt it too. Every time I left. Every time I packed up early while the trip was still going. Every time I flew home alone and teary eyed while everyone else stayed.

There was always this quiet tension between two things: I wanted to be there. But I also knew I was building something that required me not to be.

For a long time, I thought that meant I was missing the story. That somehow I was getting the lesser version of those memories.

Half the trip.

Half the time.

Half the experience.

But sitting here now, almost twenty years later, I see it differently. I wasn’t missing the story. I was writing a different one.

Because those years—those decisions—those early departures…

They led me here.

To a life where no one tells me when I can take a vacation.

Or how long I’m allowed to stay.

Or whether I can be there at all.

Ironically, now I hear a different version of commentary:

“You’re always traveling.”

“Must be nice to be on vacation all the time.”

And for a while, I felt the need to explain it. To justify it. To say, “This is the business that I have built.” “I paid my dues”. And “I missed so many vacations for decades I’m just making up for lost time!”

But just a couple weeks ago on a cruise I had a new realization, and that shifted too. Because the truth is…

It isn’t just business.

This is my life now.

And maybe that’s why Jeff’s post means so much. Because it reminds me of where that life came from.

From years of showing up when I could.

Making the most of the time I had.

And yes… leaving early.

If I could go back, would I change it?

Honestly… I don’t think I would.

Because those “half trips” gave me a full life.

But I will say this: I’m grateful for every moment I was there.

And I’m even more grateful that today…

I don’t have to meet anyone halfway.